Do you like having fun?
Well? If you do, you probably like Gama Bomb. Or maybe you haven’t heard of them until right now, but take it from me, you’ll probably like ‘em. Give them a chance, ya dingus! One time a guy I knew was like “MORE LIKE GAY BOMB HA HA HA A HA”. Good one, funny guy.
Allow me to break it down for you. No, just let me.
I get that some people don’t like thrash. Exactly why they don’t like it is fucking beyond me, but I understand that it’s somehow a real thing. I used to be that way and only listened to melo death. I guess I must’ve grown a dick somewhere along the way.
Like I was saying though, some people just don’t like thrash, but that’s a fucking stupid opinion to have because thrash is a lot of fun. As far as I’m concerned, people who can’t get down with zombie drinking thrash are so fundamentally opposite from fun that I can’t even think of a fucking analogy. What the fuck is wrong with you people? What, I suppose you don’t like pizza or party subs either?
I know a lot of Internet Metal Guys that talk a lot of shit on retro thrash and Earache Records for signing a bunch of mediocre new bands. Without question, it’s a massive all-caps “YES” that Earache has had a LOT of missteps in signing bands. And fine, the bands try to be a party-oriented Hirax or Kreator, mostly. Still, that criticism is really annoying, because it kind of assumes that the bands are making this big ironic joke like “haha, remember thrash metal guys?” Well guess what: there’s no big joke to “get”, least of all with Gama Bomb (or Bonded by Blood, for that matter). People like thrash and wished there was more of it so they made some more. That’s it.
But yeah, Gama Bomb. Basically, if you like a good time, don’t take metal serious as fuck (god, I really hope you don’t), and like to bang your head with all your friends, listen to Gama Bomb!
Plus they’re pretty much the best possible soundtrack to the completely goofy sex that happens when somehow you get one of your better girl friends in bed after drinking beers at a party and it’s not even weird when it’s over and you’re both just like “Whoa, we banged! Wanna high five and get a Hot N Ready and watch Star Wars?”
Everyone knows that’s pretty much the best sex that exists. DUH.